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Choosing you
February 17, 2017 | 4:44 AM | 0 comments
Have you ever dreamed of someone who used to be in your mind in reality? I had. Once or twice.
But the thing is, i also had to dream this difficult situation where I have to choose between two. In that particular dream I just realize that it was waaaay to hard to make a decision. I've been swallowed by what I use to say, "It's okay, I will choose you no matter what happen" Maybe God just wanna test me with that already, luckily, in my dream. There was a young gentleman whom I didn't recognize, maybe just a character that adding up the spices in my dream recipe *laugh* He came to me, persuade me unknowingly, with all his words and money, not just once, but with a few more trials. He came to me in his loose T-shirt, with a cap covering his head, just like any other hipster will wear *lol* P/s: i don't remember watching any kpop video or something else in that level before sleep Ok back to story, I remember he saying "Let's get married"
I was hesitated at that time, yeah for most people, they tend to look for someone better and give up on an old one, who apparently at that time will not benefit them much materialistically compare to the other one. I was too included not to miss feeling that way, but the thing that makes me realize and get out of that common thought is the hopes you gave on others can't be easily taken out of them in a cruel way, like cheating on them. Because cheating is an option, not a fate.
AND..
"And if you ever find yourself having to choose between two, always choose love."
So, I building up my leftover courage, and finally confessed,
"I'm sorry, I'm with someone else before knowing you" And it turned out into a whatsapp conversation *HAHA I continued the confession, "I've decide to marry him, I'm sorry" (something like that la) And he hasn't even blue-ticked me.
So, that's it. Sorry bro, i even dreaming of something I shouldn't.
And, I'm becoming more confident in my decision. Choosing you. Sometimes it was nice to tell people about dreams :') .
| 4:43 AM | 0 comments
I'm afraid to show my childish act.
Put it hidden beneath my outer brave self. Didnt want it to be exposed, in fear that it might eat me somehow, someday. Whenever I want it, I must get it. If I need your time, you must give me that. Not considering what others may feel towards me, Being a selfish coward, closing door of my heart tight, try not to merely think what they have gone through instead. Oh how I miss those child days, Where I can rage about anything seeking one's attention, to let them know I was worthy of that concern.
Now I knew I was just so lonely in the world I created.
Then I learn how not to.
Let it be hidden somewhere I can't find. |